Who can understand the reasoning of the board members of a corporation that owns a huge portion of all the beer in the United States? You know who I’m talking about, don’t act like you don’t. I hit Facebook jail this morning for putting a picture up of Janis Joplin reclining on a couch enjoying a half pint of Southern Comfort in a vain attempt to satirize the new Bud beer can with some guy (I think it was a guy) in a dress, trying to point out that Janis was twice the man (it) is!
Now this is double funny because Janis was bi! Yeah, you heard it right. Her private choice was “Any dab’ll do ya!” And we of the Austin constituency didn’t care. Look up that picture. I can’t run it here ‘cause Janis is copyrighted out the kazoo and I don’t have a spare hundred grand to toss around. Just Google Janis Joplin, Couch, Whiskey, and check out them legs. I’d hit it!
But, you must ask yourself, what makes a beer company cater to a demographic that traditionally doesn’t drink beer? I’d think that guys in a dress would lean more toward a Shirley Temple, but I’m just a Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin so what do I know?
Anyway, they done it. First things first. Let’s do a taste test. Bud Light as compared to Ozarka Water. Very little difference. You can down a six pack of either and still blow clean. Miller Lite is practically the same, but at least it hails from Texas, and they will not follow Budweiser’s lead because they don’t want the brewery burned down.
There’s not enough alcohol in there to sanitize a bee sting, and i know this to be true because I’m a drunk. I’m not an alcoholic because I don’t wanna go to all them damn meetings, but I know booze, believe me! You will never get a fetching lady to lean your way by filling her up with this, especially Texas ladies. You want a cowgirl to go happy you gotta bring out the Jim Beam. Now, where was I.
I don’t have the percentage of Transsexual beer drinkers but I am sure it ranks well below fifty percent. But . . . and that’s a big butt, Budweiser pull off a real dilly. A two for one. Catering to people who don’t use their product while alienating the ones who did!
The outrage was practically universal. Hey fellas, if you were drinking Bud, I can’t help you. Years ago I discovered that it gave me a hangover while I was drinking it! If I drink beer it’s Dos Equis or Corona. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they’re both Mexican beers, I’m from Texas, deal with it!
My interaction with Facebook was not the exception. I have lots of cell mates. But look at the CEO of Facebook. What beer do you think he’d drink? Ace of Spades? Before you call racism Google it! That’s a real beer!
Now for the political ramifications. Playing to sections of the population is not new. NASCAR, Monday Night Football, strawberry flavored vodka, just good business. But, selling beer to the trans community? That’s a little like selling footballs to Paraplegics, wouldn’t you think? A picture of Hitler in a synagogue! Now, don’t got me wrong. When Walt proposed Disneyland his family tried to put him in the crazy house. J.C. Penny had to invent what we know as the credit card to get out of the crazy house. History is strewn with crazy airplanes that actually flew like the Spruce Goose. Only time will tell. Ideas can crop up anywhere, any time. A market can be identified and expanded where no market has ever been. We have such a market as soon as the Texas Legislature sees fit to bless a small herb we all know and live. Judge not lest ye be judged. That having been said, I don’t think Jesus would have served Bud Light at the last supper. Cheers!
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